but it felt appropriate to end the blog with my last paper.  Enjoy.  Or don’t.

Nekia Cordy

14 December 2007

Dr. J. Chalfa

Senior Capstone 456 – Third Essay

We are Family

            In both Transamerica and Little Miss Sunshine, the audience gets a look at a variety of family units all within two sets of relatives.  Stereotypical gender roles are fulfilled, rejected, and broken throughout the stories, and the idea of the nuclear, heteronormative family of two-point-five kids and a dog is shirked in favor a familial relationship that is more real and organic.  However, the family unit, chosen or not, is celebrated as the ultimate realm of love and acceptance even through disagreements and disappointments.  Even when forced together by unpleasant circumstances like Uncle Frank’s suicide attempt in Little Miss Sunshine, the characters in these two movies manage to find a way to reunite and reconcile with their parental figures.  The movies do go against the Hollywood cliché of strong but bland male leads affecting change and taking charge of the family, though.  Instead, it is the women (biological or not) who bring out their family members’ change for the better.

            In Transamerica, we see Stanley’s journey to truly become Bree Osbourne while also struggling to be a parent for Toby, the child she fathered years ago, and struggling to present her true self to her family.  A very interesting thing happens here in the way mother/son relationships are played with in the interactions between Bree and her mother and Bree and Toby.  While Bree’s parents fall into the stereotypes of the shrieking, overbearing mother and the easygoing but henpecked father, Bree herself takes over the roles of both mother and father for Toby in more than just her physical and chemical sex.  She is nurturing and protective like a mother while still allowing Toby the fatherly leeway to make his own decisions and have his own space.  The more understanding, amicable relationship that Bree shares with Toby probably has a lot to do with the fact that they are relatively strangers even at the end of the movie, but it says a lo that Toby ultimately chooses Bree as his family rather than living in the lap of luxury with his grandparents.

            To say that Bree’s mother is a completely flat or useless character because of her stereotypical traits would be false, though.  In a lot of ways, Elizabeth Osbourne is a loving, caring, and good mother, and even though the film seems to present her as simply a “type,” I see a lot more to her character.  Even if she is a type, her stereotypical characteristics open up a lot of discussions of why these traits are largely perceived as negative and why people find it hard to see beyond the gender role when women fit into certain categories.

            I do not think that Elizabeth can realistically be expected to be immediately okay and accepting of Stanley’s sex change when the first thing she ever knew about this child when she saw him for the first time was that he was a boy.  Before he began to develop a personality or a masculine of feminine gender, Elizabeth knew him as her son, a male.  It is understandable that she is uncomfortable with Bree.  Considering that Elizabeth has never known or accepted her as anybody other than Stanley and Bree is still a work in progress, Bree is a stranger to her and not exactly the child that she knew and loved.  That does not make her a bad mother; it makes her human.  I think that people often forget that mothers are human beings first and foremost, not inherent and instinctual mothers and caregivers, so it is often hard to forgive them for showing less than nurturing traits.  It is interesting that the therapist was guiltier of this than Bree was, though.  Even through all the pain and misery they caused each other, they still obviously loved and cared about each other, and Elizabeth was very accepting of her grandchild even under very unordinary circumstances.  To paint her as a one-hundred-percent bad guy seems wrong.  Is also seems wrong to paint Murray as a one-hundred-percent good guy just for being the more accepting and laidback parent.  I think that, as a loving father, he should have been more concerned with his son making such a drastic decision in his life and that, as a man, he probably should have recognized the differences in Stanley earlier on and had an open discussion with his wife about them.

            As far as Little Miss Sunshine goes, the parents here fit into the stereotypes personality-wise, but not in their actions.  This differing from the standard and “ideal” is a large part of what leads to the schism in the Hoover family in the first place.  Richard sells the masculine stereotype and metaphor of there only being winners and losers in life and tries to assert himself as the head of the household, a job which he is not emotionally equipped to do at the beginning of the movie.  The interesting thing about Richard, though, is that he tries to instill his masculine values in both Dwayne and Olive.  Sheryl, on the other hand, is the breadwinner, but instead of being valued for her work or even shown working, she is relegated to her status of housekeeper and meal cooker and perpetuates the feminine dream of the beauty pageant with Olive.

            Sheryl allows Olive to try to become a beauty queen because it is what Olive wants to do, but one cannot help but wonder if Sheryl is also pleased that her daughter, who does not fit the American standard of what a beautiful little princess should be, is nevertheless interested in perpetuating feminine institutions of false charm and beauty.  One also cannot help but wonder if it rings true that a father like Richard would not have problems with his son being pale, strange, and withdrawn when those are not the things that American male winners are made of.  Richard does, however, pass masculine stereotypes down to his son by praising him for being able to remain silent and stoic.

            The family members outside of the nuclear core are the ones that break up the monotony.  Grandpa Edwin may fit into the stereotype of the crotchety old man who cannot emotionally connect with his son, but he is also the grandfather who snorts heroin and choreographs his granddaughter’s dance routine.  Uncle Frank is a gay Proust scholar, and while his style of dress and manner of running may be labeled feminine, he is still respected in the family as a strong male figure, suicidal tendencies aside.  Surprisingly, these characters are the voices of reason in a family that has been muted literally and figuratively by their attempts to ascribe to gender roles.  It is also surprising that a teenaged boy such as Dwayne is so accepting of his gay uncle, but it is understandable given that he has taken to the philosophy of Nietzsche.  It rings sad but true that Olive expresses her belief that Frank falling in love with another boy is silly, but she is never corrected.

            Not surprisingly, these are the characters that lead to the most significant change of Richard and Dwayne finally being able to open up to their family.  Edwin’s final admittance of love and pride for his son seems to be what allows Richard to finally break out of his repressive shell of masculine clichés, and the family follows his lead.  The movie definitely sends a message about being traditional versus being natural when it is Olive’s being accepted and loved for her differences, the differences that she was taught by grandpa, that leads all of the family members to fully embrace themselves and each other.

Why is that men think it’s okay to spoil and overprotect and dumb down their daughters?  Don’t they realizes the thoughts going through their own heads and remember the way they treated girls in the past?  I think all fathers would agree that they don’t want their daughters to go through the things that they know men put women through.  So the question remains as to why they won’t hip babygirl to the game?  Is it more important to pretend to be bashful and refuse to break the male code of silence in order to hold up your manliness as a father or try the best you can to keep your daughter from necessary harm?  And that doesn’t mean coddling and sheltering because you will not always be around to save your daughter or knowledgeable about the dangers she’s facing in today’s world.  It means teaching your daughter how to fend for herself and opening up a line of open and honest communication and support.  And no, that doesn’t mean turning your daughter into a woman who will feel the sting of the “independent woman” backlash, but being a woman in the know doesn’t mean she has to be some June Cleaver Stepford wife, either.  If you give your daughter a backbone of her own, it’ll hopefully keep you from having to break someone’s son’s backbone later.

I will never understand from a logical standpoint why women’s sports are so poorly received, especially by men.  We’re in the middle of college basketball season now, and the women are definitely outscoring and generally outplaying the men and there’s little of all that annoying and unwarranted hype and early draft talk.  For a basketball purist or a true fan of the game, women’s ball should be where it’s at.  But, alas, that is never the case.  The women’s Final Four and Championship games are always consistent and fought tooth and nail.  Rarely do you see sloppy play and stupid losses like in the men’s brackets, but they still get a fraction of the love even after UConn rocked the court for their multi-year championship run.  Women have always been fancy with the lay-up and passing, and, now with the emergence of Candace Parker, women ballers are free to dunk, so lack of excitement and moves can no longer be used as an excuse.

I just don’t get it.  There’s better basketball and (despite what stereotypes will tell you) good-looking young women in shorts and tanktops.  What is there not for your stereotypical, testerone-driven, heterosexual male sports fan not to like?  Nothing?  Then why are you guys watching?

Okay, so this week on Grey’s Anatomy, McDumbass seems to have found himself a new girl, a nurse named Rose who apparently likes to be talked down to by poweful nuerosurgeons.  Knowing the massive number of highschool girls who watch this show and drool upon the mere sight of Patrick Dempsey, is this really the message the writers and producers want to be sending out to his fans?  That if you can’t get your shit together and submit to housewivery, your man will move on and get with somebody who will and that’s okay.  As a matter of fact, it’s your fault that he’s impatient and untrustworthy.

 Let’s add up the scoresheet, mmkay?  Meredith – doctor.  Rose – nurse.  Meredith – doesn’t take too much shit from anyone, much less Derek.  Rose – not only takes shit but rewards him with an embarassing, nearly one-sided kiss.  Meredith- spent her first moments on GA avoiding the McDreamy curse.  Rose – spent her first moments on GA revealing that she knows exactly how many of his surgeries she’s scrubbed in on.  I don’t even think I need to say anymore.

Is it farfetched that the one who’s willing to ooh and ahh and worship and pander gets the man?  No, not at all.  In fact, the bigger problem for me is that they’ve ever portrayed this man as worth having.

For more opinions on this subject, check out:

http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=3162272&pid=9389470&st=75&#entry9389470

Who knew this show could actually generate some intelligent discussion?

 The two hot topics of late are that the apparent frontrunner in this STD pageant is a lesbian firefighter named Dani who describes herself as “futch”, which equals femme+butch, and the feeling of many of the male contestants, especially another finalist, Bobby, that all the girls, Tila included, needed to get over their attraction to other women was some good old male magic stick treatment.

About Dani:  I think it’s very interesting that the andrygenous looking and acting contestant seems to be holding the most weight on a dating show for a bisexual woman.  I know that many bisexuals like different qualities in men than they do in women, which was what Tila said at the beginning of the show, but I also think that there are many people out there who enjoy certain qualities in other people in general, regardless of gender or sex.  This is the point that Tila is at now, and I think that seeing her reach that point of self-discovery has been a surprisingly interesting journey and probably about as insightful as an MTV dating show can or will ever be.

About Bobby’s big ass mouth: His theory is shared by many, many men AND women.  I know this.  Some of you reading this may feel the same way.  But ask yourselves this:  would it only take some good man-on-man sex to make a straight man, gay?  Would it only take some good woman-on-woman sex to make a straight girl jump on the lesbian ship?  Does it really make any sense to think that person who has told you that they are bisexual is going to be a lesbian in a relationship with a woman or straight in a relationship  with a man as if there’s an on or off switch?  Does it really make any sense to think that bisexuals are any more prone to cheating than people of other sexualities?  That’s one thing I didn’t particularly care for on Tila Tequila – that, until recently, the show and Tila herself seemed to equate bisexuality with confusion, which I think is harmful to the perception of bisexual people.  It’s better than the usual curiosity point of view, but, really, I think these stigmas on bisexuality are placed there by people who are insecure in their own sexuality and/or unsure of their own sexuality and feel threatened in a number of ways.  It never ceases to amaze me that the male contestants on this show think that, if they can just be manly enough, penis power will conquer all.  Don’t get me wrong, I love a good masculine man, but masculine and idiot should not go hand-in-hand and are a truly devestating combination in anyone, male or female.

In yet another illusrtration on how society’s expectations for women to be wifes and mothers despite how they feel about it or how miserable the husband and children might make them, we have Grey’s Anatomy telling us that there is something wrong with its female protagonist simply because she isn’t jumping at the chance to be Dr. Stepford Wife for Mc”Dreamy”.  I fail to see his problem with her.  It’s not like she said she didn’t want to marry him and have his greasy-haired kids; she simply told him that she wasn’t ready but that she would try to get ready.  In my opinion, that’s more than he deserves right there.

And what does the bastard do to reward her honesty and compromising spirit?  He starts dating other woman and – spoiler alert – may possibly fall in love with one, when just a few short episodes ago he was trying to pressure Meredith into more commitment because SHE was supposedly the love of his life.  All this while he still hasn’t had the stones to completely break up with her.  If Derek isn’t getting what he needs from Meredith and he wants what he wants right now, then he needs to cut her lose and save everybody a lot of misery.  Why should he get to have his cake AND his pie and eat them, too, while Meredith ends up with diddly?  Perhaps a more important question is, why would any other woman at this hospital still want him knowing how he treats Meredith and that he’s still fucking her in on-call rooms and supply closets on the regular?

No, I’m not talking about Vietnam or that episode of Law and Order: SVU.  I’m talking about all the women who kill their children, then go on to claim insanity, temporarily or otherwise.  I think it’s a bunch of bullshit, personally, and that labeling any woman who would dare murder her own child automatically crazy is a very harmful legal ploy.

Let’ s think about it.  Should a woman really get off for murder simply because it is assumed that all woman have some kind of maternal instinct that would keep them from doing so?  I think not.  I think people are forgetting that mothers are still human beings first and foremost, and that raising children can be the most nervewrecking, unpleasant, and difficult experiences of one’s life admist all of the supposed love and innocence and sunshine.  When fathers kill their children, are they afforded all the same excuses?  Maybe if these mothers had more help from the children’s fathers and less pressure to become mothers who never fail with their children, many of these deaths could be prevented.

“”Celeb” “Dating”" Shows in General

This season of good old-fashioned, quality television brings us more shows with females in the lead and starring roles, including the CelebReality of “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila” and “I Love New York: Season 2″.  I’ve noticed something interesting about both of these shows despite their female stars, though, especially when compared to “Flavor of Love” and “Rock of Love”.  One the women’s dating shows, their male contestants seem to feel a need to manhandle them and assert themselves as alpha male to the other men and to the lead of the show.  The men treat the starring woman like she is a prize to be won.  The leading men, on the other hand, get treated like sultans with harems, and, while their female contestants will fight with each other to the death, the cater and bow to the guy’s whose affections they are tryign to obtain.

If there is a dominating female character, she gets dump, as was witnessed when New York was dumped by Flava Flav twice.

This phenomenon can be seen all at the same time on A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila.  The respect level and approach of the females versus the males is astounding.  It’s like watching a bunch of animals on National Geographic resort back to instinctual mating rituals.  I guess that’s the reason why these guys feel the need to treat their leading ladies like they’ve peed on a tree.

Sexo Por Compasion (Compassionate Sex)

Sexo por compasion is a film that we watched in my Spanish 385 class – Introduction to Hispanic Film.  It’s a Spanish movie that was written and directed by a woman named Laura Mana.  It’s a good, well-made movie, and there are some elements that are pro-feminists in the plot, but, as far as the overall story went, I found it to be a big failure for womankind over all.

These are some of my notes from a comparison of Frida and Sexo por compasion:

There is a popular old saying in the United States that says that only hookers and children wear red shoes.  There are phrases such as “The Red Light District” that refer to areas where women of ill-repute conduct their business.  In the movie “Sexo por compasion” this tradtion is continued with scenes of prostitutes wearing vivid red and the benefits of the unleashed sexuality of Lolita bringing the color back into a black-and-white town.  However, in Julie Taymor’s “Frida” the protagonist often incorporates vivid reds, greens, and other colors of passion and power into her wardrobe.  In this film, it is in no way implied that the audience is to think of Frida as a whore despite her active, varied, and adulterous sex life. Instead, she is simply a woman who is taking control of herself and her destiny, one who is not afraid to create her own personal style of thought and action, much like she does with her style of dress.  In a word of already vivid color, those of Frida shine brighter because of her steadfast belief in herself and the right to be whoever she chooses to be, despite the confines of her society and her physical disabilities.

Frida’s personalit(ies) /contra Lolita’s 2-D character

The sexual revolution of the 20s and flappers short hair and revoluntionary style of dress and how Frida fully mirrors and embraces this attitude

How this sexual revolucion allowed for Frida’s masculinity and masculine golds and blues and deep greens and reds. Mainly primary colors.

Julie Taymor – “In traditional color-correcting,” she begins, “all you have is red, blue and yellow, and you can’t stop, so the color is easier to correct.” (email article) /

contra the black and white of Dolores and village and the color that only comes with men and women coming together, or more accurately, the men taking action upon their women – it is all their choice, the women stay passive to allow this to happen, always remain traditionally feminine.  Lolita comes to be because of her desire for her husband, not her desire to reclaim her own identity and continue her charitable works on her own behalf.  She would rather sin than be without her man.

Puta y Santa in green and Santa Dolores contra Las Putas y La Madame

Frida’s “blue periods”  she came in and went out in the movie in vivid blue – the song “Burn in Blue”.  Blue is usually a cool, calming color, but with Frida’s spirit it is vibrant, exciting, and literally fiery.

You know, I thought for a long time about my thoughts on transsexuality, and I still haven’t come to a conclusion.  It’s complicated, and I know that’s because transsexuality IS complicated, but still…It raises so many questions, and a lot of them are uncomfortable.

First of all, it’s probably no secret that I love transsexuals just like I love most human beings, but it’s hard to wrap my mind around what they must feel and go through.  It makes you ask if God can make a mistake such as putting a person’s soul in the wrong body, and how deep do gender and sex really go.  It makes you wonder if having female parts can really make a person a woman, and how many masculine transfemales and feminine transmales there are out there.  It makes you ask if a person can ever forget or be allowed to forget that were once of a difference sex so that they can truly be the sex they feel is correct for them.  How do transsexuals who become hermaphrodites feel and relate with the “normal” population and other transsexuals?

 I think a large part of being a natural-born female or male is that you don’t know how it feels to have a penis or a vagina, and you can’t really begin to imagine.  And unless you’re a really good drag king or queen or androgynous, you really can’t imagine what it feels like to be treated and acknowledge as a member of a sex and/or gender that you’re not a part of even though you’ve never identified yourself with that sex and/or gender.  I imagine it must be hard to find personal satisfaction as a transsexual.  I don’t think that, if I was one, I could ever feel at home in any body no matter how many natural or artificial parts are gained and lost.